You can't sleep, now what? (Part 2)

It is 3:18 in the morning and sleep is what I want… but won’t have. I’ve looked at my clock for the last hour (or more)… for another night.
I seem to go in seasons when I sleep better than other times. The middle of the night can be difficult for me, they are times when a lot of battling in my mind takes place. Sometimes I am awake with anxiety – wondering how to navigate a particularly difficult stretch of life. Or, I am awake because Angela is awake… with anxiety. Or, I am awake because… I’m just awake, no particular reason.
Many of you reading this can relate, you are awake for no particular reason, or because you have too many reasons on your heart and mind. Maybe you are awake with a newborn, or a sick child, or your teen isn’t home yet. There is a host of reasons you may be awake. Here’s my question for you, what do you do in those times?
I have often grumbled in the night, and I usually have some form of fear that I am going to be tired later in the day. And I can’t just rationalize it away like, “just take a nap later” (I rarely take a nap). I feel the weight of knowing I need sleep, it’s dark, quiet, and a battle of the mind. I have a long list of reasons why I should fear in the moment. And there are a host of reasons why what I am worried about can be legitimate reasons to worry. And, don’t get me wrong, I want to be sleeping! I just can’t!
The Lord has been gently drawing me to Him more and more in these seasons. The simple fact is, I am awake. So what am I going to do in those times? First, I recognize that I want to not walk through fruitless wanderings in my mind. So I take my thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5). I call out to the Lord. In that calling out, I have noticed that I am not always just praying, “Please give me sleep”. Yes, that’s it sometimes, but more so I want to think on what will bring peace to my heart – a calm. I want to come under the wings of my loving Father.
Here are a few places I (and Angela) often go when we can’t sleep:

• We pray – when we’re both awake we pray together, otherwise we pray quietly when the other is sleeping
• We go over attributes of the Lord
• We go through verses we have memorized (or try to remember verses we’ve partially memorized)
• Sometimes after those things we’ll read on our Kindle books that are God-honoring and filling
• We will also listen to the Bible (I have an app called “Dwell” where I listen to passages of Scripture. There’s a number of Bible versions available and different readers. Our favorite reader is Rosie or Mark reading from the ESV.)

One significant change in me is that I have tried not to curse the dark as much but accept the sleeplessness and allow the Lord to move and stir in me during these times. I have wanted to lean into Him and entrust my sleep (or lack thereof) to Him who knows what I need (Luke 12:30). Try dwelling on these few verses: Psalm 63:6–8 (CSB) 6 When I think of You as I lie on my bed, I meditate on You during the night watches 7 because You are my helper; I will rejoice in the shadow of Your wings. 8 I follow close to You; Your right hand holds on to me. Psalm 94:18–19 (CSB) 18 If I say, “My foot is slipping,” Your faithful love will support me, LORD. 19 When I am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy. [These are my current memory verses] Maybe tonight we can approach our night without such dread. We can snuggle up under His care and know He is at work. We can fill our minds with what will fill our hearts with truth, hope, and peace.
You know, I am looking forward to tonight. Sleep or no sleep, I get to worship and spend some quality time with my Savior and Friend, the Lord.

In His Grip, John Caprine
P.S. If you missed this podcast last week, here it is again for you: Rest (A great podcast, or you can read it here too)